omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
