it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
