I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
