He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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