super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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