Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
