i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
