do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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