Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
