ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
