Apparently you make a good broom.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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