Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
