Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
