The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
