is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
