You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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