so that wasnt chicken after all
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
