i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
