Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
