is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You are a genius and a whore.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
