You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I came so hard my ears popped.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
