Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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