Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
