Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
