new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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