i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
