Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
