i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
