Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
