No awkward lesbian experiences without me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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