you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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