i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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