I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish there were birth control emojis
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
