I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
