check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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