It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
