guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
