At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
