There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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