i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
