Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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