I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
