i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
