Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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