Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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