She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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