clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
