He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have feelings that need drinking.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
