It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
