guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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